I don’t know how to describe to you exactly how I feel other than complicated.
And I know that’s not the explanation you were looking for 
I know you want me to have some sort of profound reason 
something that makes it all makes sense 
but I don’t have that right now. 
I just have me and my thoughts that never stop. 
And the crumpled up version of me that I feel inside like a newspaper laid to waste. 
I’m sorry I can’t explain it to you. 
I’m just trying to get by every day pretending be something that I’m not
           happy.